My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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