Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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