May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize