Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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