Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
