Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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