seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
