Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize