can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
