You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
