I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize