I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize