My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
