My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this will be a night to untag.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
