Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize