Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
