and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
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Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize