I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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