Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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