I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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