my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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