using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
