fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
