Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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