look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
