and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
