I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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