it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize