Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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