just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize