You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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