Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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