So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
