I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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