Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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