Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I want to kish your cheek

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My cheeks are in Michigan

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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  (301): I want to kish your cheek (248): My cheeks are in Michigan (301): Oh my lips are kind of stretchy http://tfl.nu/4fba
  Replies (4) Good night (2069) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

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  (910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars (910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT http://tfl.nu/70k5
  Replies (83) Good night (40418) Bad night (2280)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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  (919): I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/250u
  Replies (24) Good night (2882) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6780) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

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  (303): My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :) http://tfl.nu/qza7
  Replies (37) Good night (7222) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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  (440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait
  Replies (25) Good night (24065) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1561) Bad night (5392)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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  (954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y
  Replies (19) Good night (1547) Bad night (3236)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/5wrj
  Replies (30) Good night (1021) Bad night (5250)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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  (551): The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet. http://tfl.nu/8f2g
  Replies (7) Good night (2741) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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  (240): planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you? http://tfl.nu/bdmu
  Replies (7) Good night (1482) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

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  (406): I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one http://tfl.nu/6xky
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.

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  (720): I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy. http://tfl.nu/eww2
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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  (717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x
  Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (374)

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