What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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