You really coming over, don't trick.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.