I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy