We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
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I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
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