Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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