we have pet lesbian snakes
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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