meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
