Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
