GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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