It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
