I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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