Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
