she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
