I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
