We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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