Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize