I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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