if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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