You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
