Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
