I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
