well you can't waste a boner
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
