if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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