i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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