belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
