dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
